I'm Sick =(

Apparently the holiday festivities has gotten my body out of its ordinary schedule and thus been exposed to other people! (Oh, the horror)

This has resulted in my contracting of some form of internal virus that is making me, in layman's terms, feel like shit.

Best Invention Of The Decade

"Happy Holidays!" The Most Politically Correct Holiday Greeting

Please accept with no obligation, implicit or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with total respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, and their choice not to practise religious or secular traditions at all.

Additionally,

A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2011, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our society great, without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, sexual orientation and choice of smart phone and computer platform of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is either revocable or limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

This greeting is void where prohibited by law.

Why Was SGU Cancelled?

This is probably old news to some of you; StarGate Universe has been cancelled. The funny thing is, the actors didn't know until they read it on twitter.

A pretty low blow by the studio, to be honest. But the question is WHY did they cancel the show? it wasn't as good (in my opinion; they kinda boxed themselves in with the whole livin-on-a-dark-spaceship theme) as the previous shows, but it was alot different than the others as well. And they didn't have awful ratings, did they? Anyone care to share the real reason behind this cancellation? SyFy is pure shit? Now the channel can get more time showing wrestling and other completely non-related to science fiction stuff.

Bugger.

Back

Well I'm back. How you been?

Things Everybody Thinks

I stole this from someone. Everyone (especially in my generation) thinks these things:

1. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
3. I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?
4. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
5. That’s enough, Nickelback.
6. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
7. Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
8. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.
9. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
10. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f * ck was going on when I first saw it.
11. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts
12. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
13. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
14. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
15. Was learning cursive really necessary?
16. Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.
17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
18. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
19. Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
20. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
21. I love the sense of camaraderie when a n entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
22. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies”
23. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
24. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
25. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
26. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
27. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
28. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
29. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
30. Bad decisions make good stories
31. Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
32. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
33. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
34. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….
35. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren?t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
36. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
37. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
38. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
39. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.
40. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’
41. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
42. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
43. When I meet a new person, I’m terrified of mentioning something they haven’t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
44. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
45. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
46. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
47. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
48. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.
49. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…
50. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
51. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
52. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

Spreading The Word

Well, someone suggested I should spread this video, so here you go: